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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta.... I'm doing well, but I do get cannellonli."

"Ugh. It's bath time again and I always forget if you wash the baby on 'delicates' or 'permanent press'."

"What's the Boogeyman's part-time job? BoogeyNAN!"

"Make sure to make eye contact with the hottest person in the room as you stuff a burrito into your mouth"

"I'm just gonna put an egg under my kid's pillows and tell them the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy must've went out drinking the night before."

"Why did Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other."

"What do you call a spanish child molester? A pedrophile"

"The hardest part of Hypochondriacs Anonymous is admitting you don't have a problem."

"What do you call a homosexual wizard who isn't Albus Dumbledore? Gayndalf The Gay"

"What is Pat Sajak's favorite Christmas carol? No L"