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Joke of the Day

"Ronda Rousey says she contemplated suicide. Holly Holm declined the rematch though."

"*raises hand in class* can you repeat that, I haven't been paying attention all year"

"Went to my daughters netball match this weekend What a semi"

"TIFU by taking someone else's Subway order Oops, wrong sub."

"If I'm ever on life support unplug me,, and then plug me back in again,, and see if that works."

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's head when it hits a windshield? Its ass."

"I wanted to make a joke about the new Call of Duty... ...but there are already infinite of them So here's a Battlefield one instead"

"What happens if I put a vial in another vial and then in another vial? It doesn't matter."

"What does a Boko Haram terrorist become after getting his throat slit? Boko Halal."

"Why does the lawyer hate doing pro-bono work? Because he fucking hates U2."