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Joke of the Day

"Ronda Rousey says she contemplated suicide. Holly Holm declined the rematch though."

"Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess snails make?"

"They should make a movie where a guy takes someone's Ph.D. thesis, edits it one paragraph at a time and turns it into a completely new thesis. It should be called Ship of Thesis."

"What's the difference between your dad and this joke? This joke will be back someday"

"You know why I love space Murph? you keep gettin older. I stay the same age."

"Rain is just God listening to Bon Iver."

"What does a Mexican duck say? Guac guac"

"I'm sick and tired of all these goddamn illegal aliens taking jobs away from good, hard-working American aliens."

"What did the Jihadist say when he had explosive Diarrhea? ALLAHPOO AKBAR!"

"Why are all smart Mexicans guys gay? Because they do their essays."