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Joke of the Day
"""And on the seventh day God rested""... because even omnipotent beings need rest too, ya know."
Next Joke
"A coworker just asked if I had any ""mouth water"" and I am thoroughly confused by this"
"How does a farmer count his cows?? with a Cowculator!!"
"[alligator store] Clerk: $1500. Thanks Me: not gonna say bye to him? Clerk: uh Me: say it Clerk: goodbye Me: say ""see you later alligator"""
"Why are cats against abortion? Because they're CATholic"
"What does a communist prostitute do? Seizes the means of reproduction"
"I got a thesaurus the other day, but all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am!"
"How did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank espresso before it was cool."
"My girlfriend just introduced me to the parents. As if I've never met my own mum and dad before."
"Was The Little Mermaid directed by a pilot? Because it's mostly Ariel footage."