27511

Joke of the Day

"The guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said a collar and restraints and now I'm not allowed in Subway."

"If I could have dinner with anyone, dead and alive, it would definitely be Schrodinger's cat."

"You may like your coffee free, but I like mine like I like my women Hot, brown and sweet......and without a penis..."

"When my wife does our daughter's hair: ""How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?"" When I do her hair: ""How about a hat?"""

"How do you prevent a canoe from tipping? Paint it black."

"My buddy said he'd give his right arm to be ambidextrous I can only admire such dedication."

"What medicine do you take if your butt hurts? Assprin."

"Back in my day when we found a Pokemon we had to beat it to death with a rotary phone"

"Some guy had a concrete bench as his memorial. Seems odd but it's genius; he's dead and still getting ass."

"According to my bank account, I'm Rich! Rich Anderson, the name of the man whose identity I stole."