2050

Joke of the Day

"*First Date* Me: *Flirting* You have to promise not to fall in love with me. Him: There's cheese in your hair. And we haven't eaten yet."

"My mother said to me at dinner last week that I overreact too much to criticism. So I shot her."

"My wife hit me in the face with a frying pan and yelled, ""That's for all the cheating!"" She has a weird way of apologising."

"Did you hear about the guy who told everyone goodbye and then didn't leave? It was much adieu about nothing."

"imagine if poop was transparent. I'd completely lose my shit"

"How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?? Dude,I already did my time."

"""Oh you like this cake? (*Tosses cake out the window*) Oops."" - Game of Thrones"

"""I have to inform you that you're sitting in an exit row and are legally required to take a photo of the plane wing and post it on Facebook"""

"College: Now that you're making tons of money with your degree, please donate back to us every year Me: lol College: lol ikr?"

"How do you tell the difference in an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Taste"