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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Santa? Santa stops at 3 'Ho's'"

"Did you hear that Tom Brady is running for president? His platform is lowering inflation."

"I was watching Jurassic park the other day, when I thought, ""Not only does my son have a stupid name, but he's also a shit driver""."

"What's the best Brokemon? Ayyyyyyy, brah."

"Did you hear about the actress who died? SO: ""Did you hear about that actress who died? Reese...Reese..? Me: ""Witherspoon?"" SO: ""No. With a knife."" Me: ""..."" Legitimate laughter ensued."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? Dude, how the hell do you breathe through that thing?!?"

"I guess we're all just lucky that Dennis the Menace's first name wasn't Carsonist."

"How old do kids have to be when you can start saying ""Fuck you."" to their faces instead of behind their backs?"

"What do sex, Mexican food, and pizza have in common? They're all easy to do decent but hard to do great."

"How do you improve public transportation in Ferguson, MI? Move the trees closer together."