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Joke of the Day

"If I stalked you any harder, you'd be a missing person."

"What do you call a guy who'll date your sister, but will kill his sister for dating you! A Moderate Muslim."

"Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep."

"Humans are like grapes... Grapes are green or purple, and a human has colors too. A grape is picked, and eaten by a human. Then we die of old age. I'm not good with metaphors."

"The STAR WARS super agressive marketing will probably change the name of Easter to ""The Christ Awakens"""

"What did the blind, deaf, mute quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a potato."

"It's like my golf instructor thinks I'm mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club."

"What Did The Time Traveler Do After He After He Ate Too Much? He Went Back Four Seconds."

"BREAKING: Police are trying to rescue a cow lost in a cannabis field. The steaks have never been higher."