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Joke of the Day
"I definitely thought I would have shot the lock off of something by now in my life."
Next Joke
"""I just got engaged!"" -- Starship Enterprise"
"My daughter said, ""You're the best mommy ever!"" I'm really proud that she's learning sarcasm at such a young age."
"[Wendy and the Burger King having sex] King: You like this? Wendy: I'm loving it! *the Burger King stops* King: What did you just say?"
"What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I only fly the drone"
"Erectile Dysfunction is hard to live with"
"People don't hate you because you're beautiful. people hate you because you're a nasty b itch."
"A nurse found a rectal thermometer... A nurse found a rectal thermometer in her top breast pocket. ""Some assholes got my pen"" she said."
"I just saw a raccoon get hit by a Smart Car. The poor lil fella suffered a sprained ankle."
"acquaintances (tv show, sitcom): six peopel avoid grabbing a cup of coffee together for 10 years"