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Joke of the Day

"According to all these ""note to self"" sticky notes I am a very forgetful person also I have no idea what these notes mean"

"My Girlfriend broke up with me because I don't last long in bed... I told her if she ever changes her mind, all she has to do is phone and I'll come straight away."

"Reasons Pluto is so cold: 3) It's far from the sun 2) Its atmosphere is too thin to trap heat. 1) It found out we said it's not a planet."

"Sometimes it's fun to walk out of the ladies room licking your fingers."

"Bill Cosby runs into a bar one day. He saves it for later."

"Quitting smoking is the easiest thing I've ever done. I've quit hundreds of times."

"What do you call a white guy in an abusive relationship? Whipped cream."

"How do you make a good movie better add Adam Sandler"

"Willie Nelson? (NSFW) What is the worst thing Willie Nelson could say to you while you are giving him a blowjob? I'm not really Willie Nelson"

"What did the Chinese food say to the patron? ""Please, don't eat me! I'm Egg Foo Yung to die!"""