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Joke of the Day

"I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous"

"What's one thing the Hulk would struggle tearing down? The fourth wall"

"Baby, it's cold outside. I checked my weather app."

"It's bikini season, so you're allowed to shoot bikinis as long as you have a permit."

"""Kumail. Kumail. K. U. M. No. M. Just write Jason."" - me right after ordering coffee"

"*sets up booth, hangs up sign ""$5 Mustache Rides!"" *nobody shows up. I knew I shouldn't have named the damn pony 'mustache'"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away for North Korea's long range missiles."

"Aren't you too fat to be this rude?"

"What do you call an Ethiopian squatting to take a shit? A bragging son of of a bitch."

"All my friends clubbed together and got me a sweater I would've preferred a moaner or a screamer, but you can't have it all"