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Joke of the Day

"""Vodka martini. Shaken not stirred."" ""So just the normal way you make a martini then?"" ""That's right."""

"The New Men's Birth Control Pill It's about the size of a marble. You put it into your shoe. It makes you limp."

"Why do ants not go to church? Because their in sects"

"What do you call a chicken that has passed on? A poultrygheist."

"Remember ""pantsing"" people in high school... sneaking up behind one of your bros and slipping an extra pair of pants on over his pants"

"What do Naturopathic doctors use to keep up with their finances? Quackbooks!"

"My dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles and now I gotta follow him around the yard because it's his turn"

"New Internet acronym: RALSHMICOMN Rolling Around Laughing So Hard Milk Is Coming Out My Nose"

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam"

"Due to my obsessive reading I have a wonderful vocabulary of words I can't use in conversation, because I don't know how to pronounce them."