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Joke of the Day

"My dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles and now I gotta follow him around the yard because it's his turn"

"There was a four-car reck in Mexico today... 93 people died"

"I'm not stalking you. I'm trying to help you find that sock that you dropped behind the door before you left for work Wednesday at 7:04."

"Being rich seems convenient."

"Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels she strikes oil!"

"What is the first question you ask a baby cow, after its gotten over an illness? How are you vealing?"

"Dozing off during Sportscenter and waking up an hour later in the same clip is every guy's version of Memento."

"To spice things up in the bedroom, I have my wife dress up as a pizza boy. Then, I have her put the pizza on the counter and then leave."

"What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day? SQUAAATS! ...Polly want a cracker."

"Are you feeling cold right now? Just stand in the corner to warm up, they are usually 90 degrees."