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Joke of the Day

"What do Naturopathic doctors use to keep up with their finances? Quackbooks!"

"I lost my virginity yesterday. My dad incests he did nothing"

"Tonight I'll be teaching a poetry class for prison inmates called ""Prose & Cons""."

"Throwing acid is wrong In some people's eyes..."

"What's Super Mario's favorite type of jeans? Denim Denim Denim"

"I asked my buddy if he wanted me to feed his dog real quick before we left He said back to me, ""Nah, fuck it."" I don't know why he tried kicking my ass, I was just doing what he said."

"My girlfriend thinks I'm a gentleman for waiting for her to go inside before I drive away. When really I'm just letting out about 6 hours' worth of farts."

"""No points, illegal kick to the face."" ""But I'm the hero of this movie."" ""Fair enough, here's your trophy."" -The Karate Kid"

"muffins So there were these two muffins. They go into the oven and one muffin says to the other ""is it hot in here or is it just me?"" The other muffin says ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21? Down's in the dumps"