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Joke of the Day

"What do worms and girls have in common? They both squirm when you eat them"

"This evening I watched a Series of Unfortunate Events Then I turned off the news and watched Netflix."

"Have you heard about the invention of the white board It's remarkable."

"Neil Degrasse Tyson and Mike Tyson have something common... I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars."

"[Sirens] Dude open the door! *barricading* How do i know you're not 1 of them?! Were you bit?! What?! Do you not know what a hurricane is?"

"Tried to pull up my sleeve and accidentally punched myself. It's okay, I've had it coming for some time now."

"Why is Reddit called ""Reddit""? The first name they came up with reminded them too much of olive oil."

"So.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra..."

"when i was a kid, i thought getting arrested for shoplifting meant getting in trouble for trying to carry a store like popeye or something"

"A cop pulled me over because he thought I was talking on a cell phone but really I was just rubbing a slice of pizza on the side of my face"