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Joke of the Day
"What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight? Necking."
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"I bet when Johnny Depp dies his only regret will be he didn't do enough Tim Burton films."
"I bought a dry erase board to improve my time management skills but the only thing that's improved is my ability to draw dicks."
"They say 2 out of 3 people live next to a pedophile.. But not me. I live next to two really hot 9 year olds."
"Something something april fools SANDERS CUCKED BY DAUGHTER FUCK TRUMP kasich 2016 Aaaaaaaand submit."
"Why does the swimming pool get laid every night? Because he makes all the ladies wet."
"[Border control] Officer: ""You're not American."" Me: ""Deep."" *Officer squints* M: ""Fried."" *squints harder* M: ""Guns."" ""Welcome back, Sir."""
"Where do the Baltimore Ravens sit? On The Wire."
"What do you call an economics lecturer? Prof. it"
"How does a poor man watch TV? with binoculars. u know, he has to watch whatever the neighbours are watching."