209518

Joke of the Day

"I bought a dry erase board to improve my time management skills but the only thing that's improved is my ability to draw dicks."

"You'll never know how funny a tweet can be until you think of all the ways after posting it."

"What do you call nuts on the wall? : walnuts. What do you call nuts on a chest? : chestnuts . What do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"How to make employees fool!!! Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1 employee). They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs."

"Don't just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It's important to also watch some TV."

"It turns out I'm awesome at sex I come first every time!"

"I want to reenact a scene from 50 Shades of Gray.... Y'know the one where she gets a job right out of college."

"Hop on Pop is a fun children's book, Hop on Cop is illegal."

"""Your storage is full"" thanks Apple, I'll just go and delete some photos of friends and family, but at least I'll always have the stocks app"

"What's a pedophile's favourite chord? A minor."