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Joke of the Day

"Jesus loves you may be a wonderful thing to hear in church But it's a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison."

"It's six. Six raccoons. Six raccoons is the amount of raccoons that will make me turn around and walk down a different street. Six."

"""Bro, can you give me some kinda book or pamphlet for this location or product, bro?"" Brochure."

"GUIDE TO BEING BATMAN: 1. Lose parents, inherit everything 2. Let people get murdered 3. Never murder the Joker cause he's the best at puns"

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game."

"After my tweet conversation with you, I delete everything I wrote so you look like a crazy stalker."

"Twitter is the government's elaborate plan to keep us all off the streets"

"The Government could have bailed out Hostess - by legalizing weed"

"Why were you late ? Sorry teacher I overslept. You mean you need to sleep at home too !"

"A priest and a rabbi are walking and spot a little boy The priest says, ""let's fuck him."" The rabbi says, ""out of what?"""