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Joke of the Day

"I made this joke up. Man 1: Hey, I haven't seen you in a few days. What's up? Man 2: Oh, I went pearl diving in Ming Chao. Man 1: Oh? Where's Ming Chao? Man 2: She's getting dressed."

"What do we call a wireless mouse? Hamster. Source: **Dad**"

"what's black and white and red all over a nun with a harpoon through her"

"Have you ever met a vegan that does crossfit? Oh you'd know if you had."

"Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson? The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library."

"Stole my neighbors family portrait & got it tattooed on my back. Now I'm standing in their living room facing the wall 2 see if they notice."

"I was out walking my dog when another man with a dog approached me, picked up a stick and said 'I could throw this stick a mile away and this dog would bring it back.' 'That's a bit far fetched!'"

"My wife is not buying that autocorrect changed ""You're psychic"" to ""You're psycho."""

"Some people think that the way to a Mans Heart is through his Stomach... ...I think they're aiming a little high."

"Basically if your movie trailer features a close-up of a glass of rippling water I'm assuming that your movie will have dinosaurs."