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Joke of the Day

"I was out walking my dog when another man with a dog approached me, picked up a stick and said 'I could throw this stick a mile away and this dog would bring it back.' 'That's a bit far fetched!'"

Next Joke
 
"What do you call two nuts on the wall? Walnuts. What do you call two nuts on a chest? Chestnuts. What do you call two nuts on a chin? A good blowjob."
"Buddy: her boyfriend was killed? Me: Yeah, she said he was hung like a horse but I'm like, who even kills horses like that?"
"Major in Freudian Psychology Minor in the back seat."
"I once played the back end of a wasp in a pantomime play. But I thought I was the bees' knees..."
"I make the Transformers sound when I change into sweatpants."
"So you guys heard about this MySpace thing?"
"Last 4th I remember watching the fireworks on the TV In hindsight, that probably wasn't the best place to light them"
"Why is it called the ""color TV""? Because it was invented by a black person!"
"I can fake my way through most conversations with my kids if I just look up from my phone every time they stop talking and say ""no."""