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Joke of the Day

"Did you know President Obama can run around the White House in 11:00? It would be a record, but Bush did 9:11."

"When trying to determine the best place in Charlotte to go for a team building event, go to the White Water Center... It's a no brainer..."

"My father always told me it isn't real money if you don't make it yourself..... of course that was before he got arrested for counterfeiting."

"Just watched the movie 2012 and honestly I don't remember any of that happening."

"911: 911. What's your emergency? Me: I'm bleeding profusely. 911: Sir, this line is reserved for joke formats. Me: ..."

"Sir. Your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32"

"My father works as a statistician at Ford. He must be pretty well-respected there, people are always asking for his auto graph."

"To think, millions of children go to bed every night without knowing what their Sleep Number is."

"First cannibal: Am I late for dinner? Second cannibal: Yes. Everyone's eaten."

"Why is it hard to watch two elephants boxing? Because they've got the same colour trunks."