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Joke of the Day

"Sir. Your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32"

"What do big banks and Hillary Clinton have in common? They aren't too big to fail"

"What happens when your scrotum touches the edge of the toilet bowl? Ebowla."

"What's red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator :)"

"What did the black kid get on his ACT? BBQ sauce"

"What did the Ocean say to the Beach? Nothing, it just waved."

"I asked a beautiful homeless girl if I could taker her home with me. She said, ""Yes!"" With a big smile... But that quickly changed when I walked away with the cardboard box that she lived in."

"What do you get if you squeeze a synagogue? Jews."

"Would you like to buy a second-hand computer? I'm afraid not. I'm only able to type with one hand as it is."

"CW: What's for lunch; smells good! Me: Well I made lasagna last night but lost a fingernail in it & haven't found it yet. CW: Me: *smirks*"