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Joke of the Day

"I thought I saw someone I knew putting up Rick Santorum posters but I couldn't get a propaganda at him."

"I put the 'toast' in 'toaster'. Then I take the 'toast' out of the 'toaster'."

"How to equally divide a cake among five people with only three cuts Slice three people with your knife and ask the last, ""Do you also want a piece?"""

"What has two legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat."

"Why are oil miners and police men mortal enemies? One brings black stuff and the other gets rid of it"

"Her: ""Is that you in your avi?"" Me: ""No, it's a picture of me."""

"What is a Statistician's preferred method of killing people ? Poisson Distribution"

"Sometimes I wonder how people who don't have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room."

"An oldie but a goodie: What do Pink Floyd & Dale Earnhardt Sr. have in common? Their last biggest hit was The Wall"

"In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby."