26366

Joke of the Day

"I thought I saw someone I knew putting up Rick Santorum posters but I couldn't get a propaganda at him."

"How many times does a blonde laugh at a joke? Three times - Once when you tell it, once when you explain it, and once when she gets it."

"What is Harper Lee's favorite drink? Tequila mockingbird."

"Why did the blind girl fall in the well? She couldn't see that well."

"What does Matthew McConnaughey call Nazis when he's trying to bring them into the mainstream? Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right"

"Why didn't Mark Watney get any pussy on Mars? Curiosity killed the cat"

"A clown and a child walk into the dark woods.... The child looks up at the clown and says ""I'm scared."" The clown replies ""You're tellin' me kid, I have to walk back alone."""

"What has 6 eyes but cant see? 3 blind mice."

"I once made a belt out of herbs. It wasn't very useful and just ended up being a waist of thyme."

"My Grandpa Raymond and his wife live in a retirement community for swingers. What are his favorite underwear made out of? Ray on Paulie's Ester"