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Joke of the Day

"A clown and a child walk into the dark woods.... The child looks up at the clown and says ""I'm scared."" The clown replies ""You're tellin' me kid, I have to walk back alone."""

Next Joke
 
"Me: SORRY I HAVE TO HANG UP I'M HEADING INTO A TUNNEL * hangs up land-line *"
"Variants for running. Variants for running:- 1. Hot girl in front of you. 2. Creepy guy behind you. (If 1 applies to you, you're probably 2)"
"Why I don't trust women.... Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
"Alarm company: We need your emergency contact info. Me: (eating chips) My dog doesn't have a cell phone."
"Never date a philosophy major My last girlfriend was one and she spent most of her time trying to prove that I didn't exist"
"*Crosses fingers* *Fingers plan their revenge*"
"How does a crazy person walk through the forest? He takes the psychopath."
"A man is about to jump off a skyscraper... but before he is able to, a physicist runs up to him and yells, ""No! You have so much potential!"""
"A thousand millibar go into a bar... ..."