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Joke of the Day

"How many times does a blonde laugh at a joke? Three times - Once when you tell it, once when you explain it, and once when she gets it."

"Which award did the knoc knock joke get? The nobel prize."

"How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They gave her a basketball."

"""You clean up nicely"", is just a polite way of saying, ""You usually look like shit."""

"I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again. I didn't get pulled over or anything, I just showed up to work 20 minutes early."

"*walks into Best Buy* *points to CDs* ""May I have 4 sound bagels please"""

"China's number 1 brand of Protein? I-Whey-Whey"

"Zero word punchlines * Does this smell like chloroform to you? * I wonder what happens when I pull this pin? * Does this hurt? Comment some more!"

"How do they calculate global warming? Al-gore-ythms"

"What kind of comedian becomes more famous if they bomb than if they don't? An Islamic one."