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Joke of the Day

"What does Matthew McConnaughey call Nazis when he's trying to bring them into the mainstream? Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right"

"Osama was found hiding in mansion in Abbottabad. Talk abbot-a-bad place to try and hide..."

"My wife must think I'm a god... She keeps giving me burnt offerings !"

"Calm down 'Fitbit' joggers. I can drink one 5-Hour Energy and reach my target heart rate without even getting off my couch"

"What doesn't kill you might come back to finish the job off so keep your wits about you."

"Post your best one liner Mine: Excessive masterbation is often caused by hand-gina"

"Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? A: The bow is moving."

"Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol."

"A towel walks into a bar... He orders a drink, and says ""I'll have it dry."""

"When it comes to Arab countries, the US is like that damaged girl who dates bad boys, ""because I can change him."""