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Joke of the Day

"Why do prison guards use Proactive all the time? So they can prevent breakouts."

"What's worse than having 10 dead babies stapled to one tree? 1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees."

"One night stand because my bedroom is narrow."

"How do you keep a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him."

"As told to me by my 7 YO son this morning... Him: What's a pirates favorite letter? Me: ARRRGH! Him: You would think it would be ARRRGH but my first love be the ""C""!"

"I would rather wander around a store for 9 hours than ask an employee where something is and this I do not understand"

"H: You look nice. Me: I'm meeting one of my Twitter friends today. H: So you want your picture on the evening news to be a nice one? Me: Yep"

"Me and my girlfriend bought a copy of the Kama Sutra to spice up our love life... ... I just can't seem to fit it inside her. Shouldn't have gotten the hardcover version I guess."

"Me: Who could that be? It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock? Me: It depends on how they were raised..."

"I was out when I saw a bIack man running with a TV. ""That looks like mine"" I thought, so I went home and checked but no, mine was still there, polishing my shoes."