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Joke of the Day

"Me and my girlfriend bought a copy of the Kama Sutra to spice up our love life... ... I just can't seem to fit it inside her. Shouldn't have gotten the hardcover version I guess."

"If people were as passionate about world affairs as they are about their opinions on tattoos, we'd be on WWVIII by now."

"""420 blaze it faggot"" ""grandma stop"" ""snapback"" ""stop trying to be hip grandma"" ""i have hip problems yolo swag drake"""

"Why did god invent whiskey? (x-post /r/drunkjokes) So the Irish would never rule the world"

"Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic? Because everything that stays there just ends up dying."

"The fact that Fred Flintsone ate brontosaurus burgers seems less charming when you realize Dino was also a brontosaurus."

"SON: Can horses run in the Olympics? DAD: Wouldn't be fair SON: Why not? DAD: [hand on son's shoulder] Usain Bolt is just too fast, buddy"

"What do you call someone who always tells shitty jokes? Fecetious."

"Peter Parker was lucky that radioactive spider bit his hand not his ass or he'd have shot out web every time he farted."

"What would be the name of a rock if she's female? ROCKelle."