19663

Joke of the Day

"i have a heavy flow maxi pad in my wallet so it looks like i have lots of money"

"I want negative calorie credit for all the junk food I pass up. Didn't eat that cookie? That's -150 calories."

"I've decided to retire on Monday & live off my savings. Don't know what I will do on Tuesday though?"

"I'm not sure which super villain I want to be for Halloween yet Right now it's between The Joker and the white privileged male."

"I told my doctor I was having issues during sex. He said Cialis. Could someone tell me where I find Alice?"

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets Then every year we could save millions of mosquito's from dying needlessly of Aids."

"Satellite Radio. (Sirius Tweet)"

"I've slept with every school teacher I've ever had. Yep, home schooling has its perks."

"""American Pie"" ruined it for any kid that actually DOES have an amazing story from band camp."

"*Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*"