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Joke of the Day

"I carry a rolled up yoga mat so people think I'm fit but really it's just a great way to hold 2 footlong meatball subs."

"Ex-homeless man with ""golden voice"" announced he's running for president... Marking the first time Donald Trump has hated anything golden."

"Grandpa walks into a drug store Grandpa: ""I'd like to buy 99 condoms."" Clerk: ""Why don't you take 100?"" Grandpa: ""Hey, hey! I'm not a rapist!"""

"From a Friend's 10-Year-Old Daughter Why did Adelle cross the road? To say hello from the other side!"

"I tried out to be a porn actor today, I was told I was under-qualified."

"The Conjuring 3: Evil spirits torment another single mom & her kids. The kids torment them back. They're better at it. The spirits flee."

"Went to a Trump rally in New Hampshire this week. Hard to describe the vibe, but ""what if the Nazis didn't care about fitness?"" comes close."

"Found in the comments to the picture of a nice looking girl He: ""Could you please send me one of your pubes for me to clone?"" She: ""You know how to clone people?"" He: ""People?! God no! Just pubes."""

"A man walks into a barn The horse says, ""Why the wrong place?"""

"Two parallel lines match on tinder But they never meet!"