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Joke of the Day

"Kind of cruel that ""stutter"" has two syllables."

"I finally learned what La Quinta means in English Behind Denny's"

"[dj voice] ""What's up Dad Party!"" *dads go nuts* ""I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?!?"" [dads in unison] DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT"

"I have the heart of a saint And a lifetime ban from Mother Teresa's grave."

"I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him."

"Pokemon Go is already more popular than Tinder, another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area."

"""God damn it son. I'm not made out of honey!"" - Father bee to son bee."

"What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Independence Day? The Fourth of Ghoul-ly!"

"Today we celebrate the birthday of a man who changed the way we see and understand the magic of the universe. Happy Birthday Isaac Newton."

"The price of oil has dropped so far that... Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen."