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Joke of the Day

"Google changed to Alphabet Mostly alpha, not making it to bet-"

"Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? Because he's married."

"I only enter names and numbers into my contacts so I can see who I'm ignoring when they call."

"One Last Humiliation: The CIA Just Bungled An Attempt To Drop A Piano On Fidel Castro's Funeral Procession Luckily, It only cost them a grand."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never had a lentil on my face before!"

"A man flashed three old women in the park. The first two women each had a stroke! The third woman tried, but she couldn't reach because her arms were too short."

"[mouse plane] mouse pilot: hello folks, this is your captain squeaking- *mouse passengers squeal with delight*"

"Why was the tired criminal delighted when he was caught by the police? Because he needed *arrest*!!!"

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb Exactly one. They are efficient... and have no humor."

"Dominos pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens."