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Joke of the Day

"Always face somebody and make eye contact while talking... Especially when they attempt small talk at the urinal."

"[diet journal] day 1: hungry day 2: hungry day 3: hungry day 4: ate neighbor"

"I got a walk on part in a silent movie about mimes. I'm absolutely speechless."

"The highest form of flattery A plateau"

"What is a baby bee ? A little humbug !"

"What do you call a fly that literally can't even?"

"An Indian can do anything for sex Even marriage"

"The founder of strepsils died this week There will be no coffin at the funeral"

"I do 5 sit-ups every morning. It may not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button."

"ME ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you ? My Wife... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"