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Joke of the Day
"Why do Avon ladies walk funny? ..because their lipstick"
Next Joke
"What happened to the embarrassed bungalow on the street of two story houses? It got stares."
"I wanted to major in marine biology but those guys get pretty upset when you follow them into the latrine with a tape measure."
"Why is today John Philip Sousa Day? Because he told everyone to march fourth."
"INTERVIEWER: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? SLOTH: *Points to another part of the building* Around there maybe"
"Hate when the cop is like, ""Sir, have you been petting kittens?"" and I say, ""I petted a few..."" as I open the car door and kittens spill out"
"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
"Trapped in a crevice. ""Go on boy, get help."" The dog chews off my one free arm. ""Ok yeah bring that back to town I guess"""
"What do you call a Mexican with small muscles? No whey Jose."
"What do you do with a zombie chef? Skillet"