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Joke of the Day

"INTERVIEWER: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? SLOTH: *Points to another part of the building* Around there maybe"

"Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope's car."

"A security camera caught a couple having sex in an elevator. .... They got off on the eighth floor.... then they straightened their clothing and exited the elevator on the 14th floor."

"The other day, a clown held the door open for me. It was a nice jester."

"What idiot called it removing a curse and not a hexagon?"

"Two men walk out of a bar, both are drunk and ready to fight! One draws a line in the dirt and says to the other man, ""If you cross this line i will punch you!"" That was the punchline."

"Why did Papa smurf go to the aviary? Because he loves blue tits."

"Where do you find a turtle with no legs? right where you left it."

"[invasion] *aircrafts dropping from the sky *explosions everywhere *mass hysteria Me scrolling phone: Where was that alien invader gif?"

"Best jokes come from real life. This happened this morning. The toilet is clogged. My wife and I both insist we've only gone #1. One of us is full of crap and the other one is full of crap."