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Joke of the Day
"What did the Ents yell as they attacked Isengard? Ambush."
Next Joke
"[house hunting] Loved that one. Great price & the owner seemed trustworthy HER: It was next to a sewage plant & he had three eyepatches on"
"Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for a hour. Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course."
"What do you call a castrated male chicken that runs an illegal moonshine business? Al Capon"
"[girl brings me back to her apartment] her: come to bed me: just one sec [velcro noises] [more velcro noises] [too many velcro noises]"
"How much does the average introvert weigh? Not enough to break the ice."
"Co-worker insists on talking with his mouth full. No one can ever understand him. Wish we had a dentist was in the house to interpret."
"TIFU by asking my wife what is the difference between a penis and a paycheck? She said ""there is a possibility of increase in size of your paycheck."""
"Islamic state claimed responsibility for american presidential elections."