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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by asking my wife what is the difference between a penis and a paycheck? She said ""there is a possibility of increase in size of your paycheck."""

"A wife is like a hand grenade... remove the ring and your house is gone!"

"Why do feminists hate rubbing the body? Because it's massage-gynistic"

"So my japanese girlfriend dumped me the other day.. .. Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea."

"The day after Thanksgiving is often the biggest capitalist/materialistic shopping day every year. I'm protesting it this year, and had to think of the movement's slogan... Black Fridays Matter."

"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ""Got any shoes you're not using?"

"Trick or treat.. Smell my feet, give me something good to eat. If you don't, I don't care, I'll pull down your underwear. And that's why I was arrested, Your Honor."

"What is the difference between falling from the 2nd floor and the 20th floor? The 2nd floor: (SPLAT) AAAAAaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhh...... The 20th floor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! (SPLAT)"

"Where are average things manufactured? The Satisfactory"

"classical music sounds really fancy and proper for something composed by guys who threw a bucket of their turds out the window every morning"