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Joke of the Day

"[girl brings me back to her apartment] her: come to bed me: just one sec [velcro noises] [more velcro noises] [too many velcro noises]"

"The Religious Right. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

"The driver & Police Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"New procedure The hospital in my town is becoming pretty progressive and added a new procedure targeted towards transgender women, it's called addadicktome."

"I get all my cardio from sex.... That's why I'm so fat."

"I want a polka band at my funeral. I'm the one who's dead, let 'em suffer."

"What do you call bumblebee fetuses? honey nut cheerios"

"What do you call a loaf of grumpy bread? Sourdough!"

"Why is it better to be a redditor rather than a suicide bomber? You are guaranteed to meet more virgins.."

"Why are Muslims so violent? Because I slam."