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Joke of the Day

"Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for a hour. Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"What do you call a crazy bug on the moon? A luna-tick."

"Why did the kids get in trouble for eating the sausages? They were brats"

"It's embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn't sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing."

"How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese? Caerphilly."

"Take it easy on the anti-semetic jokes. Take it easy on the jew jokes please. My grandfather died in a concentration camp during WW2. Apparently he fell off a guard tower during shift change."

"When I'm sick, I just remember my mother's sage advice: Feed a cold, starve a fever, and drown a soul-crushing depression in food and booze."

"I wrote a poem today! Half of it is true. The other half is just a bunch of lies to make it rhyme."

"Those goddamn Asian drivers....... Always crashing my PC"

"He said I was average - but he was just being mean."