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Joke of the Day

"[a spider watching soccer when someone kicks a ball into the net] hell yeah, now eat it"

"I only wanted one Duran."

"Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink."

"Whiteboy who needs a haircut Justin Beiber in the front, Duck Dynasty in the back"

"I see wed people."

"Choose your friends carefully, They are the ones who tag you in photos."

"Why doesn't Mrs. Clean get pregnant? Because Mr. Clean comes in a bottle."

"Killing two birds with one stone this weekend Taking my mother to Hooters sounds rock solid."

"And now for a brief trip back to the early 90's. Knock knock. Who's there? Amy Fisher *BANG!!!*"

"What shampoo did Paul Walker use? Head and shoulders, they were on the dashboard"