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Joke of the Day

"I only wanted one Duran."

"Girl, if you got any hotter you'd be so earth-shatteringly hot the ground would split & we'd burn to death in molten lava. That would suck."

"The professor gave me a C on my Latin exam... Aced it!"

"The premise of The Exorcist is truly terrifying. Imagine having a 12-year-old daughter."

"Ok Chicago, please be responsible. If the game doesn't go your way tonight... At least act like you've been there before."

"I once opened a box of Life. All I found was disappointment."

"I'll be signing copies of my tweets this Friday at Barnes & Noble in Salt Lake City! Just meet me by the bathrooms at 5:30 & bring a pen."

"What's the difference between a normal woman and a witch? The spelling Teehee"

"An illegal immigrant and a pedophile got into a fight... It was the real life version of Alien vs Predator"

"Underage girl, sucking on daddy's cock, gets jizzed on all over he......... Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was a google image search."