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Joke of the Day
"How do you kill vegetarian vampires? With a steak to the heart."
Next Joke
"Dont be a racist, be like Mario... he is an Italian plumber created by Japanese people, who speaks English, looks like a Mexican that jumps like a black man and grabs coins like a Jew."
"If you have a parrot and you don't teach him to say ""Help, they turned me into a parrot"" you wasting everybody's time Shamelessly stolen from /r/funny"
"Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?"
"Troll your friends by texting them a fake blinking ellipsis (""..."") http://imgur.com/3RM8yC2"
"Why did the post office get sued? For Mail-Practice!!"
"Shoe store employee on phone w/ wife: ""Yea honey I should be home just in time for dinner"" *centipede walks in* ""You've got to be kiddin me"""
"""Why?""- existential owl"
"Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the states."
"If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, then why can't he fix my marriage"