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Joke of the Day

"White people are only thinking about one of 5 things at any given moment: 1. skiing 2. sadness 3. edamame 4. revenge 5. Greek yogurt."

"Evening news is where they begin with Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

"Bought a new boomerang today Having trouble throwing my old one away"

"I'm great in bed I can sleep alllll night"

"I was born to be happy... not normal."

"What did Hillary Clinton say at the last debate? Nothing...because she was in the kitchen where she belongs."

"Two guys walked into a bar... ...the third one ducked."

"Something, something, camouflage. Lol. No one is commenting because they are pretending they can't see my post. That's so Meta."

"Obama says he supports gay marriage because his views have ""evolved."" Republicans unsure which half of the sentence to get more angry about."

"I tried to start a band called ""999 megs""! Never did get a gig :("