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Joke of the Day
"Bought a new boomerang today Having trouble throwing my old one away"
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"""Do you ever get the feeling Mitch is an undercover cop?"" [MITCH enters] MITCH: Hey guys! *speaking into shirt collar* I brought the drugs"
"Hey, are you from Ireland? Because when I see you, my penis is Dublin"
"What does Sonic say during Ramadan? Gotta go fast"
"I kayak. Canoe?"
"Hey Starbucks. If you gotta name your drinks with stupid language, don't roll your eyes when I order a gitchy gitchy yaya mocha choca latte."
"Dentist: This is gonna hurt a little. Me: Ok. Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom."
"DOCTOR: ""Ok, now PUSH!"" WOMAN IN LABOUR: ""Should I be doing this in my state?"" DR: [leaning out of car window] ""Less talky, more pushy."""
"guy A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells ""You should have been here at 8:30!"" he replies: ""Why? What happened at 8:30?"""
"I told my dad that I was taking a C programming course. He offered to give me some pointers."