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Joke of the Day

"Here, have my marionette set. ""Cool. How much for it?"" Just take it ""For free? What's the catch?"" No strings attached. ""You son of a bit.."""

"Ugh man, I hate when pornos try to have a story. Don't act all surprised dude, just do her."

"My wife said that I'm a lousy lover... How can she know that after only two minutes?"

"What is the difference between sack of dead babys and ferrari ? I don't have Ferrari in my garage."

"After triplet sisters plummeted off a Hawaii cliff, one died and two survived. The other was charged with murder. But now she's all ... tied up in the other two's finances!"

"Why did Chewbacca cross the road? WWWRRRRRRGWWWRRRR!"

"In person it's lying, but in texting, you can just call it a typo."

"My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a lockpicker. Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a lockpicker. We should break it off."" Me: ""But then it might get stuck inside the lock!"""

"Hey Guys! Wouldn't it be crazy if Friday the 13th was on Halloween! I tricked too many people with that..."

"What's the hardest part of a cabbage to eat? The wheelchair."