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Joke of the Day

"In person it's lying, but in texting, you can just call it a typo."

"Don't have phone sex.... You could get hearing aids."

"Thanks to my recent change to a healthier lifestyle, I am no longer fat and ugly Now I'm just ugly"

"When I'm on my death bed, I want my last words to be....""I left the diamonds on an Island, look for clues on my Face Book!....."", just to get them to read all the jokes I've posted."

"Knock knock. Who's there? A puerile, often racist subreddit run on dad jokes."

"I made a belt out of watches once... It was a complete waist of time."

"Elliot Ness, Cookie Monster, and John Locke start a law firm. Locke Ness Monster."

"When I was in high school, I was part of the French club. We didn't really do anything, but every once in a while, we'd surrender to the German club."

"I wonder if this conversation ever took place.. - Jesus, what is that over there? - Don't hang me up on it, but I think it's a cross."

"Katie Price has called her baby Bunny. Nice bit of meat to go with the vegetable that she already has."