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Joke of the Day

"Ugh man, I hate when pornos try to have a story. Don't act all surprised dude, just do her."

"I've been crying a lot recently It's shocking how many girls carry pepper spray"

"Told my doctor I had a headache. He gave me 2 hollowpoint ""pills"" and a 9mm ""delivery system"" Damn Obama Care."

"Circus stocks are up Because the clowns sure are making a killing."

"Cooking two tortillas at the same time like some kind of Mexican DJ."

"I fell of a 50ft ladder today! Luckily, I was only on the second step."

"A Roman Emperor orders his guards to arrest his wife. He orders them to Ceas'er."

"I had a dream you were a tire last night. I woke up and you were bald."

"What do you call a boring banana? unaPEELING"

"How does a composer remember which groceries to buy? She writes a Chopin Liszt."