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Joke of the Day

"My Boss thought that getting a vasectomy would keep his wife from getting pregnant. All it did was change the color of the baby."

"once you use mac you never go back. there's literally no escape"

"The Counselor was greeting the new campers. 'So you decided to come to camp' she said to one. 'Nope' the camper answered. 'I was sent to camp!'"

"*gets down on 1 knee* OMG *puts 2nd knee down* WHAT? *lays on floor* JIM? *snake noises* WHAT ARE YOU DOING? *slithers out of relationship*"

"A guy calls the hospital and says... ""You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!"" The nurse says, ""Calm down. Is this her first child?"" To which he replies, ""No! This is her fucking husband!"""

"12 of my favorite anti-jokes"

"My company issues user id's to its new employees based on the 1st letter of their 1st name and the 1st 3 letters of their last name. I feel sorry for my new coworker Tim Watson."

"EU wants to congratulate US for their free healthcare.. .. because you did vote for Bernie didn't you?"

"If blacks have the race card, women have the gender card, what do rednecks have? The Trump card."

"You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles."