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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. They have a machine that does that now."

"What does acid reflux and dubstep have in common? They both get better when you drop the ""base""."

"Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a ""Which Muppet Are You?"" quiz."

"Mom called to tell me she is qualified to be a yoga instructor... I think that's a bit of a stretch"

"People nowadays take pictures, not for memories, but to post them on Facebook and get comments."

"If I wear a wizard hat and robe to my cousin's wedding this weekend, I bet no one asks me if I'm next."

"Saturday in my 20's: ""Nice, this club is hot! gimme a Vodka tonic!"" Tonight: ""Nice, grocery store is empty, ooh I got coupon for that !!"""

"Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?"

"I heard Christians only count 1 through 9. I wonder what happens if they say 10?"

"Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender yells, ""we don't serve your type in here."""