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Joke of the Day

"Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?"

"I never understood why people get buried in suits. When I die bury me in my PJ's. If I'm gonna be sleeping that long I wanna be comfortable."

"What's the worst advice calculus can give you? Integral of e^x because that's Se^x dx and it's never a good idea to sex the ex!"

"Sarcasm : Because life doesn't come with a free ""stay out of jail card"""

"What's the best part of having Alzheimer's? You get to meet new people everyday!"

"Why do you always invite at least two mormons to go out fishing with you? If you invite only one, you'll have to share your beer."

"""Maybe like a tiny bed for your face."" - pillow pitch meeting"

"Short and cute giggles. What did the shy little pebble wish for? That she was a little boulder!"

"Q: How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What's a light bulb?"

"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony was okay, but the reception was great!"