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Joke of the Day

"I dreamt I was being chased by a bizarre sentence with two poorly distinguished clauses. So I made a mad dash for it."

"Reddit is really a green community, Considering all the recycled content that's on here."

"A man is like a spider.... when he is on the web, he is bound to get his hands sticky...."

"[blind date] OK don't let her know you're a remote control ""Your eyes are beau- *sinks into seat crevice, lost for weeks* DAMMIT NOT AGAIN"

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a lawyer? A prostitute will stop screwing you after you're dead."

"My neighbor told me she doesn't care what people think about her. So I told her I think about her naked. Turns out she's a hypocrite."

"Two girls sitting quietly together."

"(-1)(2^3)()() and it tasted great. (Maths Joke see who gets it)"

"Not to be a Scrooge, but if you play or even hum along with Christmas music before December 10, you should be sent to a concentration camp."

"What's the difference between my wife and a dead baby? I didn't kill the baby for not shutting the fuck up."